My Immortal Flower
by RiverStorm16
Summary: Yes another story about Severus and Lilly, I have three in total. But I promise if you read this story you won't be disappointed.


**So I really wanted to do a story about what Severus went through the night of Lilly's death (even though a ton of people already had the same idea). Song is My Immortal by Evanescence and I know a lot of people have done HP stories to the song, but I promise if you read mine you won't be disappointed. And it isn't required, but reading my other song fic, just a kiss, may help you understand what's going on in this one. Anyways I don't own Harry Potter, wish I did but I don't. Reviews are welcome.**

**My Immortal Flower**

Severus stood in his study, staring at the note from Lucius, that he had just finished reading, in disbelief. Suddenly all his fears, all his nightmares, had become a cold hard reality. It couldn't be true, could it? Severus's dark eyes scanned over the letter again, but his mind was unable to process what it said. How could he have let this happen?

_**I'm so tired of being here**_

_**Suppressed by all my childish fears**_

_**And if you have to leave**_

_**I wish that you would just leave**_

_**Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone**_

Gone…in a single moment. How could she be gone? Gone to a place where she couldn't never return, where he couldn't follow her. Finally the news seemed to be sinking in. Severus's hands started to shake and the note dropped to the floor. Gone, she was really gone…forever. Severus looked out his window at the dull sky, that seemed to reflect the tragedy that just occurred. No… he wouldn't believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. He knew it was dangerous, but he had to see… he had to know, if it was true.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal**_

_**This pain is just too real**_

_**There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

Severus stood at the iron gate, dark storm clouds were gathered around the house and an eerie silence hung in the air, the kind of mood only dark magic could bring. Severus took a deep breath and walked toward the door that was hanging weakly from its hinges. A man lay on the floor by the door, pale and unmoving. His eyes were wide open and covered by broken round glasses, his mouth still open from his last scream. Severus's heart sank, he knew there wasn't a need to go any further, he knew what he would find, but still he found himself climbing the stairs, slowly. Because he had to see her with his own eyes, only then would he truly believe she was no more. Severus felt himself half hoping she was somehow still alive. But he knew it was a foolish hope, for who could hide from the dark lord?

_**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

_**When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have…all of me**_

Severus pushed the broken door open and suddenly all the oxygen seemed to be sucked his lungs as he gasped at the horrible scene before him. He didn't want it to be true, but it was. She lie sprawled out on the floor, her beautiful red hair covering her face. Severus's legs suddenly gave out on him, turned to putty underneath him.

NO!

_**You used to captivate me by your resonating light**_

_**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**_

_**Your face it haunts my once pleasant dream**_

_**Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**_

NO! Severus wasn't seeing this…this had to be a nightmare, but it wasn't, no matter how much he wished it was it wasn't. He crawled over to her and gently brushed her hair away from her face, the way he used to when she was alive. Her face, unlike her husband's in death, was very peaceful, like she was merely sleeping. He pulled her to him, like he had done so often, wishing she could return the embrace. He held her still form in his arms wishing he could hear her voice, feel her lips on his in a soft kiss like it used to be. Wishing his love could bring her back to him, but this wasn't a fairy tale…this was reality and it hurt like hell. Severus was never one to cry, but his emotions over came him and tears streamed down his face before he could stop them. His body shook with the sobs of a truly tortured soul, the sound of a true lover's suffering and loss.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal**_

_**This pain is just too real**_

_**There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

This was his fault. If he hadn't told her to marry James she might still be alive. Severus wished nothing more than to turn back time. He had all the power of magic in the palm of his hand, but nothing could take back this horrible mistake, that would haunt him forever. Turn back time to have her stay with him, to not have spoken the prophecy to his master, he wished…that he could take her place. She hadn't deserved to die; she was such a kind person, the type of person that was very rare in the world. How could fate just rip that away from her, heartlessly and coldly, like the death it brought her. Severus kissed her white cheek that had once been rosy with life. Then suddenly he remembered why this attack had even happened in the first place…Harry!

_**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

_**When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have…all of me.**_

Severus looked at the crying baby, had he been crying this whole time? Severus got up and went over to the crib. He scooped the child into his arms and cradled him.

"Shhh it's alright, I'm here my son" Severus whispered to the child.

Harry seemed somehow to know who Severus was and nestled into the embrace, seeking protection. Severus stared at the child in his arms and had the urge to take Harry back to his home, but he couldn't. He knew a deatheater would be no father for this innocent child to grow up around. Suddenly Severus felt and icy chill creep over him. This kind of cold was not of mother nature's creation, but a fearsome hooded figure of the shadows…dementors. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought that Voldemort would have a back up plan, just in case. Harry let out a small whimper and Severus held him closer in protection. He could not, would not, allow these sinister demons to harm his child…he would not loose Harry too. They came in mass numbers that quickly surrounded Severus.

He raised his wand and shouted the spell that would protect them. The bright light burst from the tip, but his silvery creature was not a wolf…it was a doe.

She charged at the dementors who screeched and fled. The air soon became calm and normal once more. Severus stared at the light doe that stood before him, she returned his gaze calmly before he lowered his wand and she disappeared, leaving darkness in her place. The doe…it had been her patronus. Severus had heard of patronus changes, but never anything like this. As he looked down at Harry again he remembered something Dumbledore had once said to him: "Love is more powerful than any magic the wisest sorcerer can conjure and true love shared between two persons possess some magic of its own." Severus felt his emotions starting to rise again, but he quickly suppressed them. He had to remain strong until he had given Harry to Dumbledore, because that was how it had to be, for Harry's sake.

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_

_**But though you're still with me**_

_**I've been alone all along.**_

Severus kept Harry close to him, shielding him from the chilly autumn air as he waited in the nightly shadowed street.

"Severus" came a gentle voice and he turned to see Dumbledore standing there, his face unreadable as always…safe behind those piercing blue eyes.

The old wizard was so quiet in his arrival that Severus had not heard him. Dumbledore's gaze went from him to the child in his arms.

"He was the only one that survived" Severus said quietly, barely above a whisper, his voice breaking at the last word.

Dumbledore's once cold gaze softened as he saw Severus's eyes as he gazed down at Harry again. Severus's eyes for the first time (that Dumbledore that seen) held a sort of warmth in them, and something else, a special kind of bond that was only seen in a father's eyes.

"He's your son" Dumbledore said plainly, it wasn't a question, just a statement.

Severus's head snapped up to the older wizard, a look of shock obvious in his features. Dumbledore just gazed back calmly, "don't be so surprised Severus. It is very easily seen that you share a blood bound with this child. I can see that bound in your eyes. Which means you are able to care for the boy."

"No! I-I can't. I don't my son growing up around someone like me" Severus said.

"A deatheater" Dumbledore replied.

"Yes, I don't want him having to grow up around that kind of influence, I'm not ready to take this responsibility because I could make a wrong decision that I would regret for the rest of my life" Severus said, emotion deep in his voice as he looked away from Dumbledore.

The old wizard gazed at the man before him, the man he knew very well was a deatheater, but Dumbledore had a hard time remembering that now. What he saw wasn't the blood thirsty villains that slayed at Voldemort's command, but a father who truly loved his child, but was at a loss of what to do with the death of his love.

"I understand Severus, I will take Harry and keep him safe" Dumbledore said, placing a hand on the man's shoulder.

Severus looked up at him with gratitude glowing in his tear filled eyes, "thank you Dumbledore"

He gently handed the child over to Dumbledore, careful not to wake him. Severus turned to look at Dumbledore and his son one last time before going back to his home.

_**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

_**When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have…all of me.**_

An empty room greeted him as usual, but this time it was different. She wouldn't come ever again to brighten the place, to chase the shadows from his growing nightmares. Severus fell on his knees as he let his emotions over take him once more, too tired to resist them any longer. He would never feel the sparks between them, her silky hair brush his cheek every time they kissed, never feel her heart beating next to his as he held her in his arms, never…see her beautiful green eyes look at him with the same love and passion he felt toward her. His memories and new patronus were all he had left of her, his immortal flower, now wilted in the darkness…his Lilly.

**Ok so I know that this song choice wasn't the best, but I couldn't find a good song I knew. But other than that I hoped you liked it. This story was the longest time I have spent on one story. I really wanted to do a better job at doing imagery, so how did I do? **


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